On Wednesday, May 17 we convened as a community to observe the 2023 International AIDS Candlelight Memorial in the Garden of Gratitude at Food & Friends. The theme for the international event this year was “Spread Love and Solidarity to Build Stronger Communities.” By gathering, we provided an opportunity for those closest to the movement to share personal reflections, and for those less familiar to gain insights into the history of the epidemic.
Event attendees shared deeply personal accounts of the losses and triumphs surrounding the lives of persons living with HIV/AIDS and their caregivers. Leaders from Food & Friends, including Carla Gorrell, our founder, Craig Shniderman, Immediate Past Executive Director, Carrie Stoltzfus, MPH, Executive Director and Andrew Jones, a current client living with HIV, and community activist, each provided rich context, personal stories, and observations that connected the past to the present.
Poet Kirsten Porter read her original poem “All Of You” written for the 2023 International AIDS Candlelight Memorial observance at Food & Friends. Kirsten is the editor and literary assistant for writer and literary activist E. Ethelbert Miller, who personally recommended that Kirsten attend to read his seminal poem “We Embrace”, along with her original poem. Kirsten’s poem was written in honor of the caregivers and loved ones of persons living with HIV/AIDS.
The Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington, D.C. performed and beautifully sang a selection of moving songs pertinent to the movement. They chose “In My Life” by The Beatles, “I Will Always Love You” by Dolly Parton, and “Make Them Hear You” by Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty. Each song expressed emotions about the epidemic, the people who experience it, and the lives of those we lost.
Craig Shniderman, Immediate Past Executive Director, contextualized the event and the story of Food & Friends with his remarks.
He said, “Food & Friends is in fact an antidote to despair. Despair is a consequence, or a side-effect, of the pandemic — or the AIDS epidemic — that needs to be battled. Food & Friends does that every day.”
Founder Carla Gorrell remembered the founding of Food & Friends in 1988, in a time when we lost every client to AIDS, along with many early staff members, and volunteers. “We were living with constant grief and loss, and sometimes you didn’t have a chance to grieve the way we really do, but like the Gay Men’s Chorus sang today, we loved them all.” She added, “we had to balance that loss with joy, and love, and community, those were the things that got us through.”
Andrew Jones, a current client of Food & Friends and community activist delivered an uplifting speech about his own lived experience and a call to action. Andrew was infected with HIV/AIDS in the early 1980s and lost many loved ones and friends to AIDS. He said, “as we reflect on those we have lost, as we reflect on those that have gone on, let us remember them with gladness, and a joy in their lives. They had a life that was promising, and this disease tried to cut that promise, but what you are doing today is helping people like me open our mouths. We need to open up our mouths, because we are not dying today like we once were. We need to address the stigma. They did not give their lives over a senseless disease, they gave their lives for a promise, so today we would have hope.”
The tradition of observing the International AIDS Candlelight Memorial at Food & Friends, now it its second year, was envisioned by Tommy Zarembka, Strategic Partnerships Director. Tommy began his professional career at an AIDS hospice center, and now directs a key portfolio of public health focused referral partnerships at Food & Friends.
For the second year, each attendee of the event received a limited-edition community-created screen print. The artwork was created in memory of people we have lost and in honor of the lives of those who dedicate themselves to help people living with and affected by HIV. The project was envisioned by Beth Hansen of The Arcade DC. This year featured art from: (L to R starting with “Love”: Andrew Baritz, Beth Hansen, Austin Morris, Casey Dyson, Jarrett Murano, Melanie Royster, Ratbaziod Boutique, Chelsea Ritter-Sorenen, Lene Hardy, Katrina Mathis, Jay Shepley (2), Evelyn Powers, Chanel Moore (1), Tommy Zarembka, Chanel Moore (2).
14% of the individuals served by Food & Friends in 2023 are living with HIV/AIDS. We were founded in 1988 by volunteers as a home-delivered meal service for people with AIDS. We now home-deliver medically tailored meals and groceries, and provide nutrition therapy, to individuals with 12 different life-challenging illnesses.
Kirsten Porter’s All Of You full verse and stanza:
My life has been divided
into two, the years with you
and the years after you.
They ask me what did I love most about you?
and I say—All of you.
I loved the sound of your voice,
the gentle curve of your back
over a book, the warmth
of your hand in mine.
And when you were sick
and grew too weak, I loved
your soft whisper, reading
a book to you, still holding your hand.
Because I loved you—All of you,
in health, in sickness,
every year a gift, every moment with you
like a sunrise on water, you rayed out
gold and reflected a light
I had never seen
Until I loved you.
And now, after you, they ask
what do I miss most? The answer
is the same—All of you.
I would do it all again, the loving,
the taking care of you.
You were not a sacrifice of my time,
you were not a burden,
you were Love.
You are Love, I still see you
when the light kisses the morning,
I still see all of you in the gift
of each new day.
-Kirsten Porter