Donor Stories Archives - Food & Friends

Pat Nelson, Donor

For more than three decades, Patrick Nelson (Pat) has been a steadfast supporter of Food & Friends, standing by the organization as it grew from a small group of volunteers responding to the AIDS crisis into the region’s leading provider of medically tailored meals. Today, his commitment extends beyond annual donations. Through a bequest in his will, Pat is helping ensure that future generations will continue to receive the nourishment, care and dignity that defines Food & Friends’ mission.

Pat’s relationship with Food & Friends began in the 1980s, when the HIV/AIDS epidemic was devastating communities across Washington, D.C.

“I was aware of the formation of the group when it first started in the church,” Pat recalled. “I thought that it was an organization that I personally felt was worth investigating and looking into to see what I could do to support it.”

At a time when many people living with HIV/AIDS were facing stigma and isolation, Pat recognized the importance of the organization’s work and chose to help in the way he knew best.

“I had a good job at that point, and I could give,” he said. “My best way of helping out would be to donate funds to move the organization forward.”

That decision marked the beginning of a relationship that has lasted more than 30 years. According to organizational records, Pat’s giving dates back at least to 1993, though he believes he began supporting Food & Friends even earlier. Over the decades, Pat has consistently stepped forward whenever Food & Friends was investing in its future. When the organization launched its first major building campaign in the early 2000s, he contributed to help make Food & Friends’ current facility at 219 Riggs Road NE a reality. More recently, after learning about the current $30M building expansion project, Pat once again chose to invest in the organization’s growth, making a gift to support the next chapter of Food & Friends’ mission. His willingness to support these capital investments stems from a deep belief in the organization’s ability to evolve and meet emerging community needs.

“The thing that I find the most impactful is that when it started back in the ’80s, it was geared towards just AIDS-related patients,” Pat said. “Over time, the organization has been able to diversify itself and move into different areas that it couldn’t particularly work on before.”

For Pat, that growth represents more than organizational success. It represents lives touched, families supported and a mission that has remained relevant because of its willingness to adapt. The mission became deeply personal when Pat’s sister, Margaret or “Peggy” as he called her, was diagnosed with aggressive ovarian cancer. Knowing firsthand the care Food & Friends provides, Pat encouraged her to reach out.

“Peggy actually benefited from Food & Friends, getting food up until she passed away,” he said.

Watching his sister receive medically tailored meals during her illness reinforced what Pat had long believed: Food & Friends delivers far more than food.

“Having somebody show up, even if they’re just delivering food and take a few minutes to talk to you, that can be really impactful,” he said.

That human connection remains one of the aspects of the organization he values most.

“You’re getting a customized meal cooked for you that is going to help you with the issues that you have at this moment,” Pat said. “That’s what’s really important to me about how this program works.”

Years ago, after the loss of his mother and while navigating family estate matters, Pat began considering a question many people eventually face: What kind of legacy do I want to leave behind? The answer led him to include Food & Friends in his will.

“I decided that part of the will that I was going to write, all my assets would be distributed to organizations that were important to me,” he said. “Food & Friends was one that I put into the will, and it’s still in the will.”

For Pat, planned giving is a natural extension of the values that have guided his philanthropy for decades. While annual gifts help organizations meet today’s needs, planned gifts help ensure they can continue serving tomorrow.

“Any organization that is in it for the long haul has to think more about what’s going to happen two years, four years, or ten years from now,” He explained.

He believes that legacy gifts provide stability and create opportunities for organizations to grow stronger over time.

“Investing that money in a longer-term fund generates money that you can continue to use to support the operation into the future,” he said. “It’s important that people think about not just sending a check today, but whether there are other ways they can make a longer-term impact.”

Pat understands that everyone’s circumstances are different. For some, a planned gift may be a percentage of an estate. For others, it may be a gift through a retirement account, charitable trust or life insurance policy. What matters most, he says, is taking the time to think about the future and what causes reflect your values.

“People have different ways of looking at their legacy,” he said. “Everybody has to look at it through a different window.”

As Food & Friends prepares for the future, legacy donors like Pat are helping ensure that the organization remains resilient and ready to meet the needs of neighbors facing serious illness for decades to come.

Leave Your Legacy

A planned gift is one of the most meaningful ways to support the future of Food & Friends. Like Pat, you can help ensure that individuals and families facing serious illness continue to receive life-sustaining meals, nutrition counseling and human connection for generations to come. To learn more about including Food & Friends in your estate plans, explore the many legacy giving options available and discover how a planned gift can reflect your values and create a lasting impact, please contact Marilyn Turner at (202) 269-6849 or visit:

https://foodandfriends.planmylegacy.org/

Your legacy can help nourish hope for years to come.

David R. Bender, Donor

David R. Bender, Ph.D. is a Renaissance man, whose generous support of Food & Friends goes back to 1997. For 22 years, he was the Executive Director of the Special Libraries Association and traveled the world advancing information science. He enjoys gardening and colonial history, especially books about John Robinson, the pastor to the Mayflower Pilgrims, and FaceTime calls with his four grandkids.

David was happily married to his husband Phil Baker for an incredible 46 years before Phil passed away in 2020. The couple lived, loved, and worked in Washington, D.C., and Food & Friends found a special place in their hearts. This March, David established the David R. Bender and D. Philip Baker Endowment for Direct Services with a naming gift of $50,000. By investing in endowment, David makes an immediate and lasting impact by supporting our kitchen and delivery operations in perpetuity. And by including Food & Friends as a beneficiary of his estate plans, David’s commitment as a Legacy Society member will add a future six-figure gift to his named endowment and further carry on David and Phil’s legacy of compassion to help a new generation of neighbors facing serious illness years from now. We sat down with David to hear his reflections on our mission.

How did you first hear about Food & Friends, and what was your connection to the mission in the beginning?

My real first connection came through two friends who volunteered. They had started when Food & Friend was still in the basement of the Westminster Presbyterian Church. I was fascinated with their love of Food & Friends and their commitment to the organization.

I had several close friends who died around that time from AIDS (acquired immunodeficiency syndrome). Because of the two guys I knew doing outreach, I felt a sense of commitment to a neighborhood and community organization.

I thought Food & Friends was doing important things, and I thought my little donation at the time might just help to put food on someone’s table or bring someone with a friendly face to say hi once a week. That was how it all got started.

I was living on Swann Street in Dupont Circle, and at that time, the street was about 80% gay. We were seeing a lot of our neighbors becoming ill, and many of them were receiving support from Food & Friends. My next-door neighbor and I were remarkably close, he and his partner both died within a couple of months of each other.

Whitman Walker Clinic had moved to 14th Street NW, and we were all watching what was happening with the epidemic. We were drawn to Food & Friends because of their excellent work.

How would you describe Food & Friends to others, a family member or loved one?

I have talked about this a lot with my kids, especially after establishing the endowment. I talked to them about how important community outreach is. Food & Friends had a concentrated beginning during the AIDS epidemic, and what the early leaders were doing had a spiderweb approach.

It was always a community service that embraced people of different nationalities, diverse cultures, different beliefs, and whoever was in need. It is much more than just a food program; it is a support program.

To this day, there are many people who are dealing with a life-challenging illness alone who look forward to companionship, connection, and neighborly outreach. That is one of the things I am most interested in.

Do you have any advice for other people who may want to get involved in supporting Food & Friends?

People often make the mistake of believing that all organizations are well-funded, but that is not always true. At Food & Friends, everyone’s contributions and donations support the cause. One of the things that intrigues me is that Food & Friends has a durable foundation, and a good management style.

These things have helped Food & Friends create a supportive community over time for those in need. Those of us that are not in need of nutritious food assistance, still have a role to play to support the community in a broader scope.

Food & Friends encompasses people of all varieties, needs, and situations. It is for everyone.

Your endowment has a special name in honor of your late husband Phil. Could you share what the naming of the endowment might have meant to him, or how that naming made you feel?

It was something I had not thought about until Marilyn Turner with Food & Friends planted the idea in my head. When she talked about both the long-term and immediate impact of the endowment, I felt 100% solid about the idea.

I had not yet thought specifically of Phil and his connection to Food & Friends. He had supported the organization himself for a while. It was a gift for me to be able to bring him into the endowment and carry on his legacy as well.

He and I were together for 46 years, and over that time, we had supported several community groups and gay organizations, and other instances where people were in need. But locally, Food & Friends has always been a shining example for us of how to get involved in the community. We were able to support both the gay community, and others in need.

There was a warm and fuzzy connection, and it all goes back to our friends doing outreach in the early days of the AIDS epidemic. It all grew and was nurtured from that beginning. I am so happy we were able to do the endowment and when I think about Phil, I know he is delighted as well to have been a big part of that.

If you are interested in joining David by supporting Food & Friends’ endowment and/or including Food & Friends in your estate plans (or interested in learning more), please contact Marilyn Turner, Director of Development, Individual Philanthropy, at (202) 269-6849 or mturner@foodandfriends.org. More information can also be found on our website.

Charles Walton, Volunteer & Donor

Nonprofit, Medically-tailored meals, Food is Medicine, Washington, D.C., Donate, Food & Friends, Charity, Health, Nutrition, Volunteer

Charles’ Full Story

During the AIDS epidemic in the 1980s, I was the sole caregiver for a family member. I remember, with so much gratitude, the volunteers who brought food to us in this time of hardship and fear. Now, I pay it forward as a Food & Friends volunteer delivery driver and monthly donor. If you’re looking for a way to directly impact lives in the greater Washington, D.C. region right now, I don’t think you could find a better organization.

You can make all the difference by signing up for the Bread & Butter Monthly Giving Club today!

Your monthly donation will ensure that Food & Friends’ critical services continue year-round without interruption or delay. Your neighbors, many who were isolated long before the pandemic, are even more dependent on these meals and groceries today. Having already lived through a global health crisis, I believe there is truly no greater expression of care than the sharing of nutritious food.

Imagine yourself at home, most likely alone. Your ability to cook is hindered by your illness, and you rely on food deliveries to get by. A volunteer knocks on your door and then steps back a safe distance. When you answer, the volunteer breaks into song! Your eyes widen and a smile creeps onto your face. It is your birthday today…and in your delivery bag sits a birthday cake.

These little moments mean the world to Food & Friends clients. Not only are they benefiting from nutritionally tailored meals, but they are being recognized and appreciated as human beings. They are being loved.

That’s what makes your monthly gift so powerful. With your regular support, Food & Friends will be even more resilient and nimble in the face of challenging circumstances. Your sick neighbors will have peace of mind, knowing that their community is rallying behind them. And best of all, the more monthly support Food & Friends receives, the more people they can help.

Join the Bread & Butter Club!

Johnny Pitchford, Volunteer and Donor

Johnny’s Full Story

I have been volunteering at Food & Friends for just 2 years now. In that time, I have worked mainly in the kitchen and in the development office on special events, but have had occasion to work on projects in most all departments in the building.

A recent email message from Volunteer Services Manager Beth Stewart caught my eye. It was about a new volunteer position, “Delivery Jumper.” This assignment involves going out on a daily run with one of the staff drivers, delivering prepared meals and groceries-to-go to the homes of clients. I was intrigued because very few of my previous volunteer experiences had involved client interaction. While I had done just about every volunteer task within the building, I hadn’t taken the step of going out on delivery by myself. So, I decided to give it a try.

Beth assigned me to work with staff driver Antoine Johnson. We met on the loading dock that morning, loaded up his van, and headed out. Antoine knew the routes and the clients well, and I was able to help by jumping out of the van and delivering the food to the client, their family member or caregiver, while Antoine called the next home to let them know we were on the way.

We made over 40 deliveries that day to the northeastern and southeastern sections of the District. In some cases, the client asked me to relay a message back to Antoine, like “don’t let him forget my birthday cake next week,” showing the personal connection he has made with the clients on his route.

I must say that having Antoine as my driver and “teacher” that day made the time go by quickly. His warm and engaging personality, tips about shortcuts to improve his efficiency, and anecdotes from his past experiences as a driver, made for an enjoyable day in itself.

It was a full day, and my muscles were tired that evening…but a “pleasant” tired. More importantly, it was an extremely heartwarming yet humbling experience to approach the front door of a home after home of individuals you know to be living with a life-challenging illness and to be met with a warm smile and a “thank you” in each case.

Having spent many hours preparing and packaging food in the kitchen on Riggs Road for clients that have been faceless until now, my day on the road with Antoine brought my Food & Friends experience full circle. It reinforced in my mind the critical value of what we all do together at Food & Friends day after day, week after week, year after year.

I encourage my fellow volunteers to take advantage of this new opportunity. I’m doing it again next week.

Note: If you are interested in volunteering as a Delivery Jumper, please contact volunteer@foodandfriends.org or call (202) 269-2277. We’d love to have you!

Joan, Volunteer and Donor

Helping Our Neighbors, In and Out of the Kitchen

Volunteer Joan Palmer goes the extra mile by joining The Bread & Butter Club

Every Monday and Tuesday, Food & Friends volunteer Joan Palmer comes through our doors for her morning Groceries-to-Go shift.

“You just feel the warmth. The staff and volunteers are so very pleasant.”

Joan came to know Food & Friends over 2 years ago when she was looking for volunteer opportunities in the area to provide meals to people in need. “I found Food & Friends and I signed up!”

Since then, Joan has been a regular, smiling face here at Food & Friends. As a Groceries-to-Go (GTG) assistant, she has a big job to do here each week. “When I first started, I was assigned to different operations and I liked GTG the best. I asked if I could work there permanently and I have.”

Joan works with full-time staff members Charles Battle and Brandon Carter to pack and prepare our Groceries-to-Go deliveries. This bi-monthly program provides our clients with multiple bags of groceries, at no cost to them, which are selected to meet the nutritional needs of each recipient – with meal plans that include diabetic, renal, and heart-healthy.

“No one should go without food,” says Joan. “And whether it’s a matter of having food donated or whether it’s food being prepared for them, that’s where my heart is. Everybody is entitled to a good, healthy meal.”

But that’s not all Joan does to support Food & Friends. Last April, Joan received an email with an invitation to join Food & Friends’ monthly giving program – The Bread & Butter Club.

“There’s never enough money for non-profit groups to get the job done,” said Joan. “It’s a service that needs to be paid for and it’s always a continuing effort. I wanted to be a part of that.”

After seeing this opportunity to help even more clients in our community, Joan stepped up to the plate and joined our Bread & Butter Club with an ongoing, monthly gift. “It’s very easy to contribute. You sign up and every month, at the same time of the month, the money is going to be deducted from your bank account. It works for me, it really does.”

Members of our Bread & Butter Club provide a steady and reliable source of funding that we truly count on – with the option to make gifts by credit card or automatic bank deduction. Six-days a week, Food & Friends staff and volunteers prepare and deliver meals, regardless of the time of year or the weather outside. The consistent financial resources provided by The Bread & Butter Club allow us to keep our work going – especially during the summer months when donations drop to critically low levels.

In 2018, we will provide nearly 1 million meals to over 2,800 adults and children in the D.C. Metropolitan area who are fighting illnesses like HIV/AIDS, cancer, and poorly-controlled diabetes. Monthly gifts allow us to keep answering these calls for help throughout the year – and we are so grateful.

So what makes Joan continue to support Food & Friends as a volunteer and member of our Bread & Butter Club? “When I was younger, my parents always taught me ‘be kind and help others,’ and that little voice just resonated in my brain over the years.” She adds, “If I can do it, you can do it. All it takes is just one. One signs up, then someone else signs up, and then it blossoms into a major effort.”

To learn more about The Bread & Butter Club or to join right now, please visit www.foodandfriends.org/monthlygiving.

Fleur and Carol Bresler, Volunteers and Donors

Fleur and Carol’s Full Story

Fleur and Carol Bresler find that volunteering is a meaningful way to spend quality time with each other while making a lasting impact on the lives of others.

Their time at Food & Friends is a reminder of how illness touches us all. And, while some volunteers come to Food & Friends without having a direct connection to the mission, Fleur and Carol were drawn to Food & Friends for deeply personal reasons. Fleur’s son and Carol’s brother, Bill, was a Food & Friends volunteer who became a client in the late 1990s. Ultimately, Bill lost his battle to AIDS in 2001.

“We have firsthand experience with Food & Friends because of our son Bill. At the end, they were supplying him with meals,” says Fleur. “During the time, there was a degree of comfort in knowing he was getting nutritional food.”

What started out as a gesture to help Fleur and Carol’s family during a difficult time, has become a longstanding tradition for these two.

“Volunteering makes me feel connected to the community and connected to my brother who is no longer with us,” says Carol.

In 2001, Carol started volunteering on the capital campaign to support the construction of our current facility. She then joined our Board of Directors in 2001. Both Carol and Fleur took on a regular kitchen shift in 2011.

“I have a long history of volunteering – it is something my generation was taught to do,” says Fleur. “After my husband passed away, we decided to volunteer as a family on Christmas Day to allow others to have that day off. We’ve been volunteering together since then.”

Fleur and Carol regularly volunteer in the kitchen helping to pack meals, chop food and assist with anything the kitchen staff needs. “We don’t ever stand around waiting for another task,” says Fleur. “There is always work to do and there is always a clear appreciation shown by the Food & Friends staff.”

Carol enjoys the camaraderie of volunteering with her mom and feels like she is making a difference.

“There are those who have it worse off than me,” says Carol. “I feel like I am helping to improve people’s lives.”

Both Breslers believe Food & Friends is unique in its approach to caring for those in our community facing life-challenging illnesses as well as their caretakers and family members. “There are still very sick people in our community and it impacts the entire family. There is always more work to do,” says Fleur.

Every Food & Friends volunteer has his/her own story. Fleur and Carol, like the many other volunteers who assist us, may have come to Food & Friends for a specific reason. But they stay because of the happiness they experience being a valued member of the Food & Friends family.

“I feel a degree of satisfaction from volunteering,” says Fleur. “In some small way, I did something to help others. I feel productive and when you are close to 90 years old, that is not easy.”

Want to join our volunteer team? Learn more on our volunteer page or email us for more information!