Marquite Shuler grew up in Northeast D.C. in a close family, with the loving support of his mom, aunts, and uncles, but he did not know his dad. Growing up without a father involved is hard but uniquely difficult when that father happens to be a famous musician.
Marquite’s dad was a member of the legendary Delfonics, an R&B group from the late 1960s, whose smash hit “Didn’t I (Blow Your Mind This Time)” won a Grammy Award. Marquite’s dad made a difficult decision to follow his dreams of music. He did not see a clear path for being in Marquite’s life and pursuing a career in music simultaneously. The realities of being a working Black musician in the 1970’s made it seem impossible.
As years went by, Marquite would ask about his dad amongst relatives. He never gave up on trying to connect with him, and at the age of 17, Marquite made contact, and he and his dad finally began to build a relationship.
Gathering around meals was always important in the family, and they would have cookouts and invite neighbors. Marquite grew up eating the things he loved, but his diet was not balanced, though he looked and felt well. In the 1980s and 1990s, consciousness of healthy eating was not as prevalent as it is now. Nutrition facts were not even required on food packaging until 1990.
From his cozy living room in D.C. with his adoring aunt close by, Marquite flashes his eye-catching smile and explains, “when you are programmed to eat a certain way as a child, it can be difficult to change unhealthful eating habits as an adult.”
Marquite was working demanding jobs and had his own business as an independent barber, he didn’t always have time to eat well. After years of a busy schedule, he began to experience some health issues but blamed it on stress. He did not think it was anything serious. His aunt was also experiencing some health problems. Their whole family would gather in their living room together, discuss their aunt’s diet, as she shared updates from her doctor’s appointments.
After a serious diagnosis, his aunt began receiving medically tailored meals and groceries from Food & Friends. She would often cook kale and other fresh greens from the grocery bags the family received and they would share fruits and vegetables. Marquite continued to learn more about nutritious eating.
Marquite eventually had a son of his own. He wanted to teach his son how to be an entrepreneur, a leader and a present father. Marquite never wanted his own son to have to experience the trauma of being separated from a father. But things became difficult with his son’s mom, and he ended up losing close contact with him. As years went by, Marquite was determined to build a close relationship with his son, and he made progress. The two were seeing each other regularly and bonding.
One day, things took a turn for the worse for Marquite. He woke up with a splitting migraine that was unlike any headache he had ever experienced. He shook it off, but something told him to go to see his doctor.
“I thought I had a migraine, but I had spinal fluid on the brain. It turns out that I had spinal meningitis. I was in the hospital for over a month, they did a spinal tap and lumbar punctures.” Without treatment, spinal meningitis can cause brain damage in a matter of hours and can be fatal within 24 hours. Marquite was always trim and played sports avidly as a youth, but when he went into the hospital, he was down to just 120 pounds. His aunt and grandmother would come to check on “their baby.” His family was afraid because his diagnosis was profoundly serious. He had kidney failure.
The health risks were grave. Marquite had to improve his diet. His doctors told him to completely avoid potassium. When kidneys fail, they can no longer remove excess potassium, so it builds up in the body and begins damaging the organs. Potassium is in many foods, not just likely culprits like bananas. It is also highly concentrated in skim milk for example. Every body is different so there’s no one-size fits solution all but most people with chronic kidney disease do require a low sodium diet. All of our meals at Food & Friends are low in sodium. Protein-rich foods are hard on the kidneys, and eating a lower protein diet can help preserve kidney function for longer.
Marquite’s aunt suggested he be referred to Food & Friends. She had experienced health progress while receiving our freshly prepared home-delivered medically tailored meals. Marquite was finally released from the hospital. Marquite says, “that was when I knew God had his hands on me.” He was referred to Food & Friends by his insurance provider and began receiving medically tailored meals.
He focused much more on his health and began to get his life back. He stopped working at the bowling alley where he was subjected to demanding physical labor and long hours. He began to work for Door Dash, stuck with his medically tailored meals from Food & Friends, and experienced triumph when he reached a healthy weight of 158 pounds. He was even able to resume coaching little league football, and mentor kids who grew up like he did without a dad present. His kidney failure was over, but he had to learn how to manage kidney disease, which is still a daily challenge.
He did not want his son to be without a father. Knowing his son and being a part of his life were the key reasons Marquite wanted to get better. He is now walking in the gym with family members several times a week, improving his cardiovascular health, and regaining muscle mass. He recently picked his son up in College Park where he lives and drove him to Baltimore to meet his grandfather. The two enjoyed hearing stories from his amazing career in music. Three generations were reunited. His son was grateful to have his father with him.
“My son sees me keep pushing to build our relationship, and me being healthy makes that possible.” says Marquite.
Today is World Kidney Day, and kidneys are often misunderstood, but are vitally important to our overall health. Chronic kidney disease affects 1 in 7 people worldwide. People like Marquite, who should never have to face a serious illness without nutritious foods. So, Food & Friends is proud to be of service to our neighbors living with stage 5 renal disease, and to do our part in helping raise awareness in the community.